In this unprecedented time in our human history, we are all facing great uncertainly. With uncertainly, undoubtedly comes fear. Rationalizing fear as False Evidence Appearing Real makes sense to the mind, but does nothing to rid the painful and often agonizing sensation of it from the body. So how do we effectively clear our fear? I’ve been blessed with learning this process from a mentor of mine, and I’m honoured to share it with you at this time. I’ve used it, and continue to use it as I find it really works. I hope you will gain value from it too. The steps don’t always happen in this exact order they are outlined below.
Before we begin, I need for you to make a distinction between what’s actually your own fear, and what is fear that you’ve taken on from others, society, media, the collective energy, etc. Many of us are empaths and women are naturally receptive beings. Much of the fear you are feeling may not even be your own. You can release what doesn’t belong to you and send it back to wherever it came from without needing to know its source. There’s a simple energy practice my mentor Kristin Sweeting Morelli teaches. You place a bubble out a few feet in front of you and put a magnet into it. Turn the magnet on and call out everybody else’s energy. You can pop the bubble, kick it over a mountain, or visualize it disintegrating into an active volcano (my favourite method.) Once that is complete, notice how you feel. Most people report feeling much lighter.
FIND your fear!
Stop. Be quiet. Take a few deep breaths. Exhale out loud slowly with the sound “ahhhh.” Do this a few times, consciously slowing down with each inhale. Pay attention to your body sensations. Locate where in your body you are feeling fear the most. Place your hand there. Hold your hand there. You can place both hands on the area, or one hand on top of the other hand that is on top of the place where the fear is the strongest. Continue breathing slowly. Now, acknowledge what you are feeling. Say the words out loud. Say “right here, I feel afraid.” Or “right here, I feel scared.” Or “right here, I feel fear.” Go on. Do it now. Stay out of your head. Tune into your body. Speak the words out loud and repeat them if you wish. If there are several areas in your body where the feeling of fear is present, do the same thing on those areas as well. All the while, continue to inhale deeply and exhale fully with an “ahhhhh” sound.
FEEL your fear!
Good. Now that you found the places where fear is being expressed in your body, be present with your fear. Keep your hand(s) on the area and continue to acknowledge the sensation of fear. Keep breathing. Full, deep breaths. Slow your breathing down. Keep recognizing the fear, moment to moment and speak your words of acknowledgement into the air. Specify the sensations you are feeling. You may notice things like tightness in the throat, heaviness in the chest, a tingling sensation in the belly, pressure in the head, and so on. The key is to stay out of the stories that our minds like to create, which feed the fear and encourage it to grow, like wood does to a fire. Instead the goal is to remain in tune with what is happening on a somatic level, a visceral level. Stay connected to your body sensations. Observing them and identifying them is a great way to do this.
BeFRIEND your fear!
In this instant, I invite you to take inventory of your current circumstances. Are you in this very moment safe? Are you in this very moment healthy? Are you in this very moment free to choose your thoughts? Did you answer yes to any or all of the above questions? If so, reassure yourself out loud. Say “in this moment I am safe. In this moment, I am healthy. In this moment, I can choose a better feeling thought.” Repeat as often as necessary, while still holding your hand over the area of your body where you feel the greatest fear. Most of our fears are irrational. When we pause long enough to assess the situation accurately we often realize that we're not in any immediate danger. Staying in the present moment helps us not focus on the future projections and dooms day scenarios our minds may be concocting.
FACE your fear!
Now this is where it can start to get quite uncomfortable. Our tendency when things don’t feel good is to distract ourselves. Find something to keep us busy to avoid distressing feelings. Focus on work, chores, mundane tasks that prevent us from simply being with ourselves. Turn on the radio, television or a podcast to keep silence, and our thoughts, at bay. What are we so afraid of when it comes to feeling fear? That it will overtake us? That it will grow stronger? That it will never go away? That it will consume us? These are all legitimate concerns. People often go to one of two extremes when dealing with unbearable emotions. Some get stuck in their fear until they feel devoured by it. Others override their fear, deny it, mask it, put on a strong exterior and pretend everything it alright. The healthiest choice is somewhere in the middle.
FUEL your fear!
Fear is an emotion. Just like any other emotion, it's just energy that needs to be in motion. If we refuse to let fear, or anger, rage, sadness, grief, or any other negative emotion, move through us, we are suppressing it. When we suppress emotions, they get trapped and linger inside our bodies. This is when they can start to wreak havoc on our health and well being. Just like an automobile requires gas to drive and a train requires coal to burn to produce steam to run the engine, our emotions require fuel to be free to move through us and out of us. How do we fuel them? Simple! We stop blocking their flow. We allow them, no matter how uncomfortable they may be, to move through us, until they flow out of us.
Gay Hendricks, PhD., counseling psychology professor at the University of Colorado, author of more than 40 books and founder of the Hendricks Institute, has worked with tens of thousands of clients in his 45 yearlong career. He has noticed that when he coaches people on how to lean into their emotions, even the most traumatic of emotional states can move through the body. With his guidance, he’s helped all kinds of people with all levels of anxiety, panic, fright, terror, alarm, worry and dismay. He has noticed that no matter what the cause of the fear, once a person gives it permission to move, it will never take longer than 20 minutes to exit the body.
Allow the fear to FLOW!
As soon as you feel fear, push out your belly! Holding in our bellies equals shallower breathing. We want to ensure that plenty of oxygen is coursing through our veins to help push all of our emotions through, including and especially the fear. Often times I will catch myself tightening my belly and have to release it, then a few minutes later it has tightened again and I again have to make a conscious choice to release it. The reflex is often automatic, especially since so many of us have been conditioned to suck in our tummies to make them look flatter. This is not the time to be concerned about appearances. Pushing out your belly will allow fuller deeper breaths. It will also get women more grounded in their womb centers, which is our place of power. We are less susceptible to emotions such as fear when we come from our power. This is a key to clearing your fear.
Now it’s all good to read this article and conceptualize that this stuff sounds good and makes sense. It’s a completely different thing to be in a state of fear and remember what you read and actually apply any of the principles listed above. If there’s only one thing you take from my writing, I want it to be this: make a conscious choice to remember at least one of the tips listed here. The easiest one to begin with is to remember to breathe. Full deep, slow breaths into your belly and using your vocal chords on the exhale. This will get you quickest results in the least amount of time.
I’d also like to mention that this is a practice. It takes time to develop new habits. If your go to way of handling fear has been to suppress it, deny it, distract yourself or get lost in it, using these tools will not be automatic for you. It will take repetition to get used to them. It will take conscious competence over and over again before you begin to do these things unconsciously. It also helps to be guided by someone who has more practice and expertise in the area of moving energy. This is why I encourage you to watch these videos, preferably attend live if you can. Kristin Sweeting Morelli learned techniques first hand from Dr. Gay Hendricks and has been using them herself, teaching and guiding others in energy practices for years. She has generously offered to do daily fear clearing sessions on her personal facebook page for anyone who’s interested. These are free of charge and available to everyone at 1 pm Eastern. I highly recommend doing these practices daily until they become second nature to you. The link to her personal page is found here.
Stay well my friends, and remember you’re stronger than you think.