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​I remember a time when I used to be scared of everyone and virtually everything!   When I heard people laughing, I thought they were laughing at me.  I was socially awkward, always afraid and uncomfortable in my own body.  I was that girl who didn’t go out, or if I did, I was secretly dying inside, worrying that I would say and do the wrong thing.  I was easily overwhelmed and over stimulated and most of the time I just wanted to hide, even though a part of me so badly wanted to fit in and belong with others.

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Those times when I was one of the last kids chosen to play on the sports teams – when my parents constantly told me that I would fall and hurt myself which eventually made me fearful of trying new things – when the older boys used to make fun of me and tease me on the school bus – when I had no one to play with at recess time and found myself all alone - and on and on it went...

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These, and many more experiences that I’ve been through, confirmed the false beliefs I had that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t worthy, that there was something really wrong with me.  I used to hate my body.  I wanted a flatter stomach, thicker hair, bigger lips, a nose job and curves.  I was rarely happy and, even though on the outside it may have looked like I had a great childhood, I felt alone, worthless, unpopular and unloved. 

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Looking back now I can see that I was numbing out to my own feelings and moving through the world pleasing others to gain their acceptance and approval.  I had given my power away and was living with a veil over my eyes.  I had been programmed to believe and respond to life this way.  My body was telling me this by the way I was feeling.  My life reflected this in every interaction I was having.

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Yet still, throughout all of this, deep down inside​, I always had a feeling that I was meant for more, that I was going to make a big impact in the world.  I realized that in order to do that I had to take care of ALL areas of my wellbeing.  I was feeling frustrated because I felt I'd tried everything and still didn't know why my life wasn’t working out the way I always wanted it to.  For years I felt stagnant, as through I was stuck in a rut. I was trapped in fear cycles that I had no idea how to get out of.   I hadn't yet learned how to get out of my own way!

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I heard something powerful from one of my teachers and it was this:  "If you want things in your life to change, you're going to have to change things in your life."  Even though I knew I wanted to make a change, no-one ever gave me the toolbox of how to make the lasting changes that I desired.  I had to figure out how to stop blaming my circumstances and others for my results and start taking responsibility for my own life. 

 

I’ve dedicated the last twenty years to studying, healing, learning about myself, improving, growing and expanding in so many ways that I’m a completely different person now, unrecognizable from the me I used to be.  ​I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on courses, books, membership fees to success clubs, workshops and more.  I hired mentors, coaches and worked with guides to get to where I am now.  Each was a valuable piece of the journey that brought me back to remembering who I really am.   All I really had to do was tap into the dormant power that was asleep within me all along. 

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Piece by piece I began to put together the puzzle of why I’m here and now I live my life full of confidence, purpose, alignment and joy. ​​​​ I now have a deep knowing that I am a powerful human being who can create the life I desire and I now have the tools to do it.  This is my birthright and I feel as though I was robbed of it for the majority of my life.  You see, I was never taught this as a child - nobody was.  Society, parents, peers – as well meaning as they are – come with their own set of rules, programs and beliefs.​

 

And who I am now... is a powerful creatrix, who manifests miracles like nobody’s business. I confidently speak in public and am comfortable in my own skin.  I trust myself and my abilities to live, love and work with purpose.  I know my worth and I joyfully add value to society.  I go through life with ease and grace, fully embracing my gifts.  

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The growth never ends.  Even though I'm the best version of me that I've ever been, I'm just scratching the surface of what's attainable for me.